I am frequently asked whether or not I do, in fact, have a twin. The answer is no. However, it does not appear that the kids at school have taken this as a fact, for it seems every few months I receive the same type of questions. “Do you have a twin sister? I think I’m in her Spanish class.” And “Is there a girl in this school that looks just like you? Is she your twin?” (How am I supposed to answer that?!)
Or to Mazda who is the other victim of this twinsanity, “I think I’m in math class with your sister, do you have a twin?”
Now, just so everyone is aware, the answer is NO. We are not twins. Not even a little bit. And frankly, is it not rude to think that every girl with brown hair and brown eyes looks like every other girl with brown hair and brown eyes? Hmm…curiouser and curiouser. But over the years we have come to find that there are a certain amount of ways to go about responding to such questions (for our own personal enjoyment, of course).
The first is to say yes. It makes the day a little more interesting than the atoms and lava lamps in science class. (Just kidding, lava lamps are exciting). But we have found you can take it even further than that.
Okay, so let’s say you have twin—maybe you’re related, maybe you’re not—it doesn’t really matter. Here are a few Do’s and Don’ts that we believe make the day more entertaining.
- Do respond in a positive way to questions involving your “twin” (by this I mean say that you do have one. Unless, of course, you are an actual twin in which case I strongly recommend saying no.)
- Don’t think too deep into your back story (how you were separated at birth, etc. etc.) Then it just begins to get boring.
- Do have your other friends respond with ‘yes’ as well. If more people than just you are saying you have a twin, you might be able to start getting the really gullible people to believe.
- Don’t attempt to sell your “twin-ness” to someone who didn’t bring it up first. 8 out of 10 times, they won’t fall for it.
- Do dress similarly at least twice a month. If you wear the same type of outfit as your “twin”, the people around you might think you got nostalgic for the olden days when your mother used to dress you exactly alike. (Which, does anyone else feel is a little strange? You have two people who look the same. Wouldn’t you want different colors so you can get the names straight? I’m just saying.)
- Don’t expect to be bombarded with questions immediately, it’s a slow process, people must absorb your twinsiness before they will approach you.
- Do play up your “twins” act in front of strangers. For example, let’s say another school is visiting for athletics or drama, they don’t know who you are, kid them into thinking you’re related. (Though here is where a back story may come in handy—if they start getting suspicious).
- Don’t try to convince your parents that you’re actually twins. Don’t be that moron.
- Do enjoy your trickery. It’s no fun if you are so busy tricking that you forget to sit back and enjoy your well conceived plot.
- Don’t get upset if these Do’s and Don’ts don’t work for you. Disclaimer: Results May Very.
So, that’s that I suppose. I hope you enjoyed my short lesson in being a twin and I sincerely hope you give it a whirl. Think you pulled the wool over the eyes of your fellow schoolmates/coworkers/whoever you decided to trick? Let me know, I want to hear about it!
Until next time, forever and average!