The Dangers of a Small Town

Believe it or not, I believe my grandmother’s small Kentucky village (it’s not really a village, but that’s what I’m going to call it), has more crime and mischief than my own city; and I live in a rather populated area. Just the other day she was telling me a story about the neighbors next door who happen to be the family running the local drug ring.


Hmmm, I must ponder this for a moment. I do believe something fishy is going on across that lane. I shall get out my spy glass and become Sherlock Holmes. I always knew that was my destiny.

So then she said something about another person across town, who had been arrested after an attempt at a jewelry heist. This raised two thoughts for me:

1) If you are going to steal jewelry, do it in a place where NOBODY KNOWS YOU! In a town of 3,000 someone is bound to recognize your face. Yeah, smart. Way to go.

and 2) Don’t be like Winona Ryder and get caught because you are so freaking obvious.

But you shouldn’t be stealing jewelry in the first place!!!

So, after all of this, I turned on the TV. It just so happened to be on the local news station, and do you know what I saw? Not thieves, not criminals, not even people with minor offenses.

Nope; I saw a cow. A COW!

He had gotten loose from his pasture and was traipsing around town. Thirteen cops to bring down this cow; none to arrest the people next door.

Isn’t this an average world we live in?




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