Rather than giving you a long spiel of welcome to the Hall, we’re just going to jump right into the action. Ready? GO!

“Has anyone seen my TV?”

Joanna’s hands flitted behind her back like little flying saucers as she tried to grapple with the idea that her television had officially been stolen. Of course, the answers all around were a whopping and residual—NO. No one knew where the TV had gotten to; except for the person who stole it, of course.

“Are you sure it’s gone?” someone asked. That was Becky.

“It’s a TV.” Joanna stated dryly. “You can’t really miss that.”

“Oh, right.”

Becky is probably the nicest girl in the hall. In fact, everyone is nice. Except for the girl who stole the television, but we’re not there yet!

Now by-and-large we realize that our floor is not like many others. As a general rule, if you are sitting in the hall, all are welcome to join you. So, in the end, it turns out to be a social event every night. This instance was no different.

Joanna slumped to the ground—and by advisement from the other members of the floor—called the police.

Her now ex-roommate Cassie had this to say when Joanna approached her about the missing television.

“I don’t have it.”

Then, once informed that the police had become involved waited 15 minutes to reply:

“Well, actually, my boyfriend and I borrowed it to watch the Sunday night football game.”

Oh, well, that’s okay then.

WRONG!

Now, let’s put on our thinking caps and explore some inconsistencies in this small tale.

1)      Your boyfriend lives in an apartment and already—by your own words—has a television.

2)      Why would you not ask if you were going to “borrow” your roommates T.V.

3)      Who “borrows” their roommates T.V.?!

4)      How long have you been dating this boy? A week and one half, you say? Hmmm…

Solution achieved! Your pants are so on fire!

Little to say Joanna was pissed, as was everyone on the floor. Now we are forced to lock our doors tight and slowly drift away into lonely exile in our own small islands of solitude. Okay, so that was melodramatic and untrue, but you get my point. And as the cultural behaviors of the average tends to go, she has slowly become disliked by much of the floor.

So, moral of the story: don’t steal people’s stuff or do stupid things. The laws of the averages will come to haunt you in the end!

Stupid is as stupid does, so don’t be stupid!

Mel