I’m Turning Into the Pillsbury Doughboy

I have a sweet tooth the size of Canada. It used to be the size of Texas but it has grown as I age. Unfortunately, as hard as I try to stay away from the candy–and for this I blame Wonka because it really does feed the imagination! (That’s why it’s my favorite)–I just cannot do it. I like to think that I have a pretty good ability as far as self-control is concerned; just not with sugar. Besides, Wonka is awesome but my imagination doesn’t need any feeding. It’s doing pretty crazy stuff just on its own.

But that’s not the point!

Actually, I’m not exactly sure what the point is. But if I had one superpower–okay, no, if I had two superpowers (because the first would definitely be having a super awesome pair of wings)–I would make everything healthy unhealthy and vice-versa. That would be fun right? Except I do like vegetables. So then everything is healthy! That would be nice.

I just made some of those Pillsbury Halloween cookies. They are FANTASTIC if you haven’t had them. You can get them with ghosts or bats or pumpkins and they’re magical and I love them and now I want another one and this sentence is never going to end.

The point of this post: I just thought I would express the dangers of this habit. You see, unlike in the Spider-Man movie, the old-and-not-as-good-as-the-new-one one, (p.s. that’s the one with Toby Maguire), it is clearly stated that if you eat your green vegetables that you will become super strong with fantastic reflexes like Spider-Man. However, what they don’t tell you is that if you eat a lot of sugar you don’t turn into the Pillsbury Doughboy as the title of this post and my future claims would have you think, but rather the Michelin Man from Ghostbusters (who is made up of marshmallows) and attacks New York City!!!!

Then they have to make you explode with laser guns and the whole city smells like burnt marshmallow for weeks. Not a good time. Plus you would be dead. And that’s no fun either.



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