I’m mad at myself because I feel like I haven’t posted anything funny in a while. So mad, in fact, that I haven’t even thought up a title. Which is odd, because that’s what I usually do first. Something pops into my head and I run with it. But there is no running tonight…yet.
Well, there is one thing I wanted to discuss. Now I KNOW that this is not just me because people complain about it all the time, but I just cannot stand photogenic people. They make me feel bad. I’m not a pretty picture taker. The camera does not love me. (Really, I’m not lying. I have had the same profile pictures up for years because I can never find pictures of myself that are any good). I’m that person who always happens to be wearing their hair up whenever someone decides to take a picture. And, of course, the only days when my hair actually looks good are the days when I never see anyone important (i.e. someone who is not blood related to me–because I see those people all the time). In conclusion, I’m usually just one hot mess.
But that’s okay because I own it. (Lie! But I have to tell myself something, right?) In retrospect, I suppose if I put more effort into it, I would look just fine. I just choose to sleep until the last minute instead of waking up and pampering. Is that so wrong???
The point of this, however, is that it always makes me feel worse when I’m on Facebook, the Twitter (yes, I realize there’s not actually a ‘the’ in front of Twitter, I just think it’s fun to call it that), etc. and I see some ridiculously photogenic person with their pretty boyfriend/girlfriend and it kind of makes me want to shoot myself in the foot. For that one moment, I really cannot stand them because they look so nice, and every time I take a picture I look like a turd. And then I realize, to top it all off, they’re genuinely nice people. That’s when I’m just like, “Dang, I give up.”
And then I go take a nap. Naps make everything better. Naps and Wonka candy. And books.
So, I’m creating a petition that all pretty people should be banned from social networking sites. That, or they’re only allowed to post one pretty picture a month. This way my timelines aren’t flooded with people who look so much nicer than me. It’s a plan. After all, if I’m going to rule the world someday, I can’t be upstaged by my peasants. Mwa haha.