My brain is literally turning to mush. At this point, I cannot tell if me writing this (and not studying) is procrastination or simply survival instinct as I try to keep my brain from dripping out of my ears. All day I have been cramming Western Civilization and Psychology down my throat. My two hardest exams on the same day–which happens to be tomorrow–yeah!
At the moment, I’m kind of feeling a mix between wanting to shoot myself in the foot and cram studying more. Not that I haven’t studied during this past week, I just haven’t studied as much. There’s a difference. I also want to go to sleep but I’m forcing myself to keep going. It’s not even late yet and I didn’t wake up this morning until 11 o’clock, so I’m not sure why I’m complaining.
But do you know what’s worse than studying? Packing.
I think I might be a mini-hoarder. Is that possible? Can you be a mini-hoarder? All I know is that as I’ve been packing up my clothes and books and bags and food and shoes and more books and all of the CRAP that I own, I keep finding more stuff. Why do I need a cork board? I don’t. It’s literally been sitting on the floor since the day I brought it here. Why do I need five copies of Peter Pan? I don’t. I’m just a super nerd who wants to take every book I own everywhere. It’s absolutely ridiculous.
And the fact that I know it’s ridiculous, makes it even more ridiculous! I’m making my grandmother come and help me load all of this junk into a car to bring home over break. That should not be necessary. Why do I own so much crap???
I have what I call Panic Packer Syndrome. I pack WAY TOO MUCH stuff because I think that someday I might need to use something and not have it. So instead of taking the risk of not having enough, I pack everything I own. Then I have to lug five hundred bags up and down four flights of stairs (because we don’t have an elevator) and I look like an idiot bell hop who should be fired. It really is a sad picture. While I’m dragging one back up the stairs, I’m hitting myself in the head with the other, and my backpack is cutting off the circulation in my arms because it’s so full of useless things.
I also hate making more than one trip anywhere. It’s like the luggage defeats me if I can’t consolidate, balance, and drag my luggage all at once. It’s really a very pathetic sight. And embarrassing.
And yet I can’t stop!