Party Like There’s No To-Maya

I didn’t make up the pun in the title . I wish I had. Props to whoever pulled that one out of their brain matter!

Since tomorrow is December 21st, 2012, I though it only appropriate that I write a proper post seeing as how–for those of you who have been living under a rock–the world is supposed to end. (Except in places like Australia where it is already  tomorrow. They’ll die happy with their icky brown veggie stuff.) I have already touched on this topic multiple times–zombie apocalypses and the like–and I’m going to be very upset if the world is destroyed before my not-so-hostile takeover.

But, alas, the people I feel the sorriest for are those poor Mayans. I’ve talked about this briefly in other posts but I feel now is the time for me to elaborate. These people need a voice too. Even if it is an average one.

Who knows, their lack of filling out the calendar could have been due to many things. Here is my Top 10 Countdown to the Mayan’s End of the World Prediction:

10) They simply ran out of space on their rock

9) They thought they were being clever

8) They were average teenage a-holes. (Disclaimer: this does not affect/include the awesome averageness that is this blog)

7) They simply didn’t give a crap. Maybe they were bored of continually chiseling stuff into a large rock. Frankly, if it was me, I would have stopped a long time before 2012. Who wants to hit two rocks together for the rest of their life? Not me, that’s who.

6) They were psychic–and freakishly accurate.

5) They wanted to keep up with modern times.

4) Resources were dwindling.

3) They were distracted by the cleverly cartoon, The Peanuts. Well played, Schultz!

2) They were killed tragically while in the process of carving dates into the stone. Or maybe it was the more realistic possibility that European diseases wiped them out. So if you really think about it, the Mayans didn’t predict the end of the world, Europeans did. What douche bags!

1) The aliens did it.

I think all of these arguments are valid. Maybe if I befriend the aliens I will still have a chance at taking over the world. Think I can do it? Well, if on December 22nd, you hear anything about the indescribable awesomeness that is Mel Smith, you will know that I have accomplished at least one thing on my bucket list.

Success!

Mel

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