Speak Softly and Carry a Big…Pen???

There’s a reason I became an writer and it’s not because of the wonderful health benefits (I sit around and eat junk food and drink soda. Diet, of course.) It’s not because of the respect, because everyone can write, right? Wrong, but that’s not the point.

No, I became a writer for one specific reason and one reason alone.

Writers don’t have to talk to people.

As a writer, you sit behind a computer screen and write words. No people, no awkward first meetings and conversations where I’m constantly trying to decipher what the correct thing is to say. No, “hello, nice to meet you (strange person whose name I’m probably supposed to know)”. No interviews, presentations, group-therapy discussions, cheering audiences, booing audiences, managers, customers, or speeches.

Especially speeches.

And yet, here I am. Trying to write a speech on the topic: “How to Publish a novel”. It should be easy, right? It’s a topic I know pretty well.

*Frowny Face*

Not so much.

We are supposed to make it interesting so I added a picture of Tigger from Winnie the Pooh into my PowerPoint. This picture:


I think it is pretty precious and it has to do with writing, so…

I swear I am a good student. Just not very motivated at the moment. There’s an NCIS marathon with a crossover episode with NCIS: Los Angeles. I love this show. And it has absolutely nothing to do with publishing a novel. Oh.

I don’t know about other countries, but in the U.S. (for the most part) public speaking is a required course at all universities. If I moved to London, would I have to take this class? I don’t know.

Maybe I’ll walk into class on Tuesday, say “I give up!”, throw my hands in the air, and walk out. I’d like to see the look on my professor’s face when I do that. Except, remember the part where I don’t like talking in front of people? Oh, yeah. So that’s never going to happen.

Oh well, I guess my speech will be 3 to 6 minutes of my life I won’t ever get back.

Don’t forget to check in tomorrow for Chapter Five of This is a Book. Can you believe it? Five chapters already!!!



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