I Wanna Be a Billionaire…So Freaking Bad

I have always thought of myself as an entrepreneur. I don’t have any money or resources to back my ideas, and I don’t have any sense when it comes to pitching an idea to someone, but I have a list two miles long of “businesses” that I’m going to start one day. A lot of them–I think–are quite good, too.

Along with Mazda, I will open a store called “Da Hood” where we sell t-shirts and hoodies with funny phrases and images that are clever and entertaining. We’ll have something for everyone, it will be wonderful.

Then I will create a make-up line for an extremely wide (and detailed) range of skin tones so that everyone (and not just white people) can find their perfect shade. I always hate when people say ‘wide range of skin tones’ but really it’s just a wide range of white skin tones. Okay. Really?

I’m going to open a small bookstore with a half-cafe that sells the world’s best pastries. Because everyone knows that the only thing better than an awesome bookstore, is an awesome bookstore with food.

I’m also going to open the world’s first-ever noisy library. Read, do homework, study, and talk while doing it. Then, on the weekends, it turns into a nightclub. It’ll have disco balls and everything. Oh dang, now it’s getting serious.

(This is less about being an entrepreneur)  but I was going to tour the country with Mazda instead of going to college initially. I know, my mother would have loved this idea. We were going to buy a truck-bed top trailer, paint it with blue and purple flames, and bar-tend across the country, paying our way as we go.

Yeah, that never happened.

I’m going to find the Loch Ness Monster and/or the Templar Treasure. Making bank. Easy.

Then with our combined riches, Mazda and I are going to build a mansion in Ireland (with the sheep) that has: a beach room (where Sophie is going to sleep with our pet Alligator, Rufus), a trampoline room, a ball pit room, an exact replica of the Beauty and the Beast library, an office with walls made of all white boards–maybe chalkboards too, an infinity pool (because those things are awesome), and other things that I cannot think of right now. We have the blueprints drawn up. Thinking ahead.

I know what you’re thinking right now. “Wow, this girl has way too much time on her hands.” And yes, yes I do. But these different ideas have been thought up over many years and many boring hours of study hall. Yes, this is how I spent my study hall. I know, I’m just brilliant, right?

Maybe I will be able to invent/create some of these things once I become rich (because these ideas will all seem just as smart when I begin rolling in dough from my multiple best-selling novels that are definitely going to be written and sold), but I have a feeling that these things will never happen.

Oh well, a person can dream right?


P.S. I’m sorry to announce that This is a Book is going to be postponed for the next couple of weeks. Apparently, college professors everywhere have decided to give the entire semester’s load of work this week and next week. On top of that, my trip to New York City for the Writer’s Digest Conference is next weekend and I have to prepare for that as well. The world’s worst packer/procrastinator (that’s me, by the way) is about to have a very unpleasant week! Well…can’t be worried. (Until the night before when I run around like a chicken with my head cut off).



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