If you read my last post: I found some trees! They were hiding, but I found them. And I’m on my laptop again (f.y.i. never write a post on an Ipad if you can help it, it’s very annoying). Our room got mixed up so they gave us an upgrade and free wi-fi for the night.

That’s what I’m…talkin’…bout! (Said in fake Russian accent).

So, day one is finished, and after seeing some awesome presentations we decided to go out on the town. Which is really just my code for saying we went full-out tourist. How can you go to New York without stopping in the massive Toys R Us (it has a Ferris wheel inside), walking on the red steps in Times Square (where you can ogle at all of the glowing advertisements and not get hit by a crazy taxi), or gawking at the strange mess of pedestrians trampling through the streets.

After we wandered around for a bit and grabbed a slice of NY pizza (a must if you come to the city), we stopped by Ellen’s. It is a restaurant–with a sort-of-kind-of Johnny Rockets feel but more modern–and singing waitstaff. Yep, you heard me. Everyone–every single waiter and waitress–sing. They’re Broadway star wannabes that perform for the eating customers. It’s fun but really loud.

Especially when you are sitting next to two tables of booze-headed drunk people. Guess what? I found the average people in New York. They were the sing-along drunks–the people who get louder and louder and louder until you think your eardrums might break. Then one of the drunk girls nearly fell over the railing (we were on the second floor) as she strained to try to see one of the performing waiters and I was prepared to yank her back if that became necessary.

To backtrack, there were some pretty average people at the conference too. I would even go as far as to say these people were crazy. One woman (a self-proclaimed member of the Air Force, but who really knows with crazy people) stood up multiple times to ask questions, but what came tumbling from her mouth can only be described as word vomit. I kid you not, not a single word of it made any sense. She made stalker-ish comments to members of an editor Q&A panel, just to continue with some kind of gibberish question that no one knew how to answer (because it didn’t make sense) so they brushed her off in the nicest way possible and said “next”.

Then there was the woman who couldn’t take “yes” for an answer. She asked a question to one of the agents giving a presentation and he gave her an answer. I guess she liked his answer because she kept saying “Oh, really? Great!” She then proceeded to ask the same question to the same man in different ways, to which he said, “Didn’t I just answer this question? I think you just want me to say yes, so…yes!” She then did this strange little happy dance and practically skipped away from the microphone. It was all very peculiar.

This is why people say writers are weird! Because people like them stand up in front of large audiences and say something ridiculous.

And this is only day one!

Mel

P.S. If any of you are interested in what happens at the Writer’s Digest Conference, my friend Julia (co-author of This is a Book–new chapter on Thursday) is posting her notes from the different sessions on her blog. Follow this link to check them out!