Pitch Slam and Other Things That Made Sense When I Started Writing This Post But Don’t Anymore

*Warning: this post may seem very scattered. I know I say this all the time, but I really mean it now: I need sleep. Five hours of sleep two nights in a row is not enough. I can’t function. Ahhh!

Alas, the pitch slam. The place where you walk up to a complete stranger, say “hi, my name is ____”, and then try to sell them your book in 90 seconds or less. Believe it or not, it’s actually not that bad. I was a bit concerned, but it turned out fine and I got four partial requests for my manuscript, so that’s exciting 🙂

But, let’s be honest, the really interesting part is about the people pitching. There were some bleeping bleepers in my group. You know the kind of people I’m talking about. The “nothing is ever my fault” kind of people. There was a lot of complaining as people recapped their time in “The Room” where the agents sat. Poor agents, after hours of hearing pitch after pitch after pitch, I”m pretty sure my brain would melt out my ears.

Crabby agents+crabby writers= a whole lot of crazy people. The agents (or at least all of the ones I spoke to) were actually very nice and personable, they all seemed to care about you and your work even if they weren’t interested in representing it. In truth, they seem like stone cold, hard, scary people online–unreal people who don’t care at all about getting queries from writers that are just going to fill up their inbox and the “slush pile” that exists there. It’s tough to imagine them as real people (which they definitely are) because all that–most of us–see of them are their pictures online.

So, the moral of that story is that agents are not scary, mean people who hack away at words behind their computer screens. They’re nice. And some people who get rejected have attitude problems. Really, it’s just a part of the job. What am I talking about? This is what I’m saying, I really need some sleep.

That annoying girl from yesterday has been stalking my presentations. She keeps showing up and asking questions. I have to wonder if she knows that what comes out of her mouth is…um…something. She sang the Dory song from Finding Nemo.

What is happening?



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