I’m posting today instead of on the weekend due to the fact that I will be travelling to Tennessee both this weekend and (back from Tennessee) next weekend. So you can probably expect my next post to come on Friday too.

My Life As a Disney Kid is actually going to be a series that I will continue over the next few weeks. I got to thinking about this after my post a little while ago that talked about Disney World being super ninja about sickness/health problems in their park(s). So, I started to think of all of the things that I have learned from Disney’s films over the years, and thought I’d share those nuggets of information with you.

These are just some general take-aways/themes that I  noticed in the movies, and which you may (or may not) agree with. I, personally, think they’re rather accurate. Of course, I couldn’t discuss every Disney movie, and this isn’t my complete list either. I’ll be talking about more next week. So, without further comment:

Disney Morals Summed Up 

• The Hunchback of Notre Dame: The ugly guy will never get the girl. Will he be accepted by the rest of the world? Yeah, maybe. But never the girl. Ouch.
• Cinderella: You will get nowhere in life without magic. Also, beware of all step-mothers for they will certainly be evil (and have hideous man-daughters).
• Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs: 1) Eating a bar of soap has the same effects as getting drunk. 2) Eating another person’s food is totally fine as long as they are smaller than you. (Um…isn’t that bullying? Just sayin’.)
• Peter Pan/ Sleeping Beauty: No one loves the green fairy. Awww…poor unloved suckers.
• Mulan: If you cross-dress you will save the country, not get judged by it. And crickets are lucky as long as they can speak to magical talking dragon ancestor waker-uper creatures.
• Hercules: All-powerful Greek gods aren’t actually all-powerful. Singing pottery is also completely normal. And there must have been some very forward thinking people in ancient Greece because, according to Disney, they had a booming tourist market with modern-day products.
• 101 Dalmatians/Lady and the Tramp: Dog catchers might just be the dumbest people in the world. Not to mention that dogs are actually WAY smarter than we give them credit for, but only when humans are not around to see/notice.
• Alice in Wonderland: If the food tells you to “eat me”, don’t ask questions, just do it. I mean, what could really go wrong???
• Bambi: Hunters and forest fires are terrifying.
• The Jungle Book/Tarzan: Talking to and singing with animals (who respond back) does not actually make you psychotic. It makes you normal. As long as you live in the middle of the jungle.
• The Little Mermaid/Aladdin: Pretend to be something you’re not and the person you love will always accept you (after you nearly die at the hands of a crazy person because of that exact deception). Oops.
• The Lion King: There is a good chance that Mufasa is also God (or vice versa).
• Beauty and the Beast: Being ugly is totes cool as long as you become handsome in the end. (Refer back to Hunchback thesis).
• Aristocats: All of the dogs in France are from southern America. That, or they all share the same accent. Strange…

So these are a few (but definitely not all) of the morals/themes/theses/observations that I have drawn from the Disney movie franchise. Are there any notable theses that I’ve missed from those already listed? Let me know it the comments.

I *heart* you Disney, but sometimes you say things that don’t make sense.

Mel