The Things Only Average People Can Do

There are certain situations only average people can get themselves into. And by average people, I mean me and my friends. There seems to be something inbred in our nature that allows us to find awkward situations and exploit them to everyone else’s benefit. By this I mean: we humor the rest of the world with how extremely awkward we are. If you think this resembles you and your friends, welcome! If not, read on for a seriously funny story.

Sophie had a meet-up with her school counselor (which, once you get to college, is basically to figure out your schedule and–consequently–your life). Unfortunately, as I said, these awkward tendencies tend to follow everyone in my friend group, and the conversation took a turn for the… strange? Strange because Sophie may have caught herself in an extremely unintentional lie and then couldn’t figure out how to get out of it.

You see, her counselor had been describing different programs on campus that help with studying. Of course, Sophie being Sophie wasn’t exactly paying attention to everything. Finally, the counselor began to describe the disabilities program, saying things like “it helps those who need the extra assistance”, and ending with “but this doesn’t apply to you”. Now, as I said, Sophie wasn’t exactly paying attention, so she only caught on to the latter part of the conversation. Basically, she thought the counselor was talking about kids who struggle in school/need extra assistance study/grade-wise (not kids with disabilities who need help reading, writing, etc.), so she immediately said: “Yes it does!)

Except no, it really doesn’t.

The counselor’s reaction was pretty immediate and EXTREMELY surprised. Clearly she didn’t take Sophie as someone with a disability (probably because she doesn’t have one), and she made Sophie–while they were sitting together–sign up for an appointment with a disabilities counselor. Of course, by this point Sophie was beginning to realize her mistake, but being the socially uncomfortable people we are, she had no idea how to back-pedal. And so, she let the counselor continue to talk as she gave her pamphlet after pamphlet on how to “deal with your disability”.  Including self-esteem pamphlets that recommended the following: blow bubbles, shout ‘ta-da’ when a task has been accomplished’, and alternating nostril breathing.

I have no idea what that last one is, but I’m sure it does help…?

Now, this isn’t to say that if you have a disability anything is wrong with you, or that you shouldn’t get help if you do have a disability. The fact that these programs are available is great. However, Sophie doesn’t have any disabilities, and yet she couldn’t tell the counselor that she had made a mistake. She just kept falling deeper and deeper into a lie she hadn’t even intended to tell.

I have no idea how I would have handled the situation myself. If I’m being honest, it probably would have ended up the same way 🙂

And thus we are friends!




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