Things That Never Should Have Been Invented

So I have found that most of my blog posts contain lists rather than stories, but I like lists. They get the point across in an efficient manner that allows me to talk more about one thing than a bunch of paragraphs would. It’s easier on the eye too, right?

Well, anyhoot (on a totally non-related topic), I was digging through my bathroom drawers looking for chapstick and ended up finding a bunch of other useless junk that I hadn’t seen for ten years, and it led me to think about the certain things in this world that should never have been invented in the first place. Let’s jump in, shall we?

1) Sorry boys, this one won’t apply to you, but cardboard tampons. No. Just… no.

2) Vanilla scented trash bags. I may be the only person in the world with this opinion, but I personally feel like vanilla scented trash bags are super gross. Not only do they not smell nice by themselves, why one earth would I want my trash to have an extra scent of fake vanilla on top of the smell of TRASH?! The way I figure, it’s going to smell like crap anyway. There is no reason for me to spend an extra dollar to make my trash smell like fake-vanilla crap. Sorry, I just discovered I’m very passionate about this… apparently.

3) Chalkboards. Couldn’t we have just jumped ahead to dry-erase boards? Was the intermediate ‘chalkboard’ step between stone drawings and paper necessary? Because I think nay. The sound of the chalk, the screeching/scratching noise, I can’t take it. I JUST CAN’T TAKE IT!!!!

4) Butter. I have an aversion to butter that I have yet to understand myself. All I can tell you is that I am thoroughly repulsed by the stuff. I eat it in very small amounts; basically, as long as I can’t taste it, it’s fine. The smell of melted butter makes me queasy. I nearly got sick trying to make rice krispy treats because the smell of melted butter and marshmallows was so disgusting. And yet, they tasted so good! Thus, that totally gross cooking ingredient has made it onto this list.

5) Candles that smell like old people. Everyone probably has their own definitions of what “old” smells like, but there are certain candles out there that just smell… like… old. There are other scents too that I don’t understand. Who would want their house to smell like “American Flag”? These candle-namers do realize that American Flags actually smell (probably) like dirty fabric and not like cinnamon sticks, right?

So yeah, those are my first five on this list of things that should never have been invented. Expect more later.

Also, Rupee supplied that winter should not have been invented. I told her to go back to bed. She was spouting nonsense.

Mel

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