The Disney Villains I Don’t Exactly Blame for Being Villains

You have to admit, in some Disney films the villains kind of have a point. You know, they aren’t bad for no reason, they have legitimate reasons for being pissy. And yet we’ve been trained to hate them because they’re the “bad guys”. Well, I say we re-look at that, at least for a second.

Scar

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Scar was passed over for the crown. Why? Was he not as good as his brother? There is not proof of that. In fact, it could be argued that he would never have been evil in the first place if it wasn’t for his entire family abandoning him. If it weren’t for his drive for revenge to reclaim the throne, Scar wouldn’t be nearly as angry as he is. And we’re supposed to be afraid of him because of his looks? I would be pissed too if a group of strangers gave me a nickname based off of a scar that I had, and then told the world to fear me because of it. We gave him no choice but to be evil.

Plus, are you really evil if you sing your feelings?

I don’t think so.

Ursula

She spends all of her time listening to complaints by selfish people who think they’re “ugly (and) fat”, and who want to be buff and skinny (although does buffness really help with attractiveness? Hmm…), and she helps them. Yes indeed. But, really, who wouldn’t be annoyed by that. If I was her, I’d be turning them into seaweed too. If that’s seaweed, I’m not really sure what those things are that she turns them into, but you get my point.

Plus, with that annoying little thirteen year old mermaid going around singing everywhere, she is left with a totally underrated song, even though it really is in the top three of the whole movie. Top two, even.

Movie villains really do get the best songs.

Captain Hook

 

He had his hand cut off by a twelve year old. Who thought it was a game. And, on top of that, he’s stuck in Neverland as a perpetual adult, mocked daily by the children-who-will-never-grow-up, as he’s forced to envy their endless youth. They have nothing to worry about: food, shelter, fresh water–all the essentials are provided for them by the island. But Hook doesn’t get this luxury. He has to worry about shaving. What if he runs out of shaving cream? Or aftershave? It’s not like the stuff just sprouts out of the Neverland ground. He only has what he brought with him those many years ago when he happened upon Neverland, and I’m sure that supply is dwindling.

Plus, what about the receding hairline I’m sure he’s forced to acknowledge on a day-to-day basis. Is there Rogaine on the island? I doubt it. 

Iago

The terrifying Jafar has nothing on this little parrot! What’s worse than being the misunderstood bad guy? Being the bad guy’s misunderstood  pet. He can talk in complete sentences, with full, human thought! But does anyone appreciate this? NO! The Sultan shoves crackers down his throat like it’s his job (because, according to this film, apparently he doesn’t actually do anything else. A little unrealistic, but let’s move on.) Plus, Iago is the one who informs Jafar about all of the little things. And, yet, he receives no appreciation for these efforts! If I were him, I’d be an angry bird too. But not the fat, red kind that suck. The bomb ones that explode on impact. 

Everyone knows those are the best. 

Edgar 

If your mistress (the woman that you work for, not your “special lady friend”), cares more about her cats than your well-being, you would be angry too! Plus he has a bit of a beer belly and we all know how difficult those are to get rid of. And by “we”, I mean people with beer bellies. Not me. 

Plus, if she allowed those cats to run around, diving into paint and then getting it all over the living room, piano, and blank canvas you were going to use to paint your first masterpiece, AND she expected him to clean up the mess, well… 

That’s just rude. 

And last, but certainly not least:

Hades

Was it Hades’ fault that his brother Zeus banished him to the underworld? NO! Was it his fault that he became the person that no one likes just because he drew the short straw in the game of “Which-Realm-Should-I-Rule”? NO! No one is a ‘fan’ of the person who embodies death, so it’s no wonder that he’s constantly grumpy. Plus, being banished to the underworld would make it difficult to do anything fun. He’s angry and bored — like the majority of rebellious teenagers. In the end, his “evil”ness makes complete sense. 

I mean, he’s also probably judged by people for being a schizophrenic. I mean, he talks to two gargoyle-like devil creatures who poof in and out of the picture, so people are probably thinking he’s talking to himself all the time. Plus, there are the three fates (you know, the ladies with the communal eye), who talk down to him. If everyone around me, including my douchey brother and three pain-in-the-rear witches, kept saying mean things to me, I’d want to take our my anger on someone too!

~~~~~

In the end, I completely understand why some of these villains are villains. Still, I will probably always root for their demise when watching the films, but hey, at least now I’m more understanding of their plights. One step at a time, right?

Mel

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