The Terrifying Truth About the Ocean and Where Dinosaurs Really Went

So, Rupee, my roommate has this extremely irrational fear about the ocean. (Which, I suppose one could argue is much less embarrassing than my own irrational fear of butterflies, but this discussion is not about me.)

Along with this fear comes this insatiable fascination with finding images online from the deepest, creepiest parts of the ocean, and then showing them to me. Don’t get me wrong, the stuff down there is freaking terrifying, but I’m not about to go and Google it! If you’re having trouble imagining what I’m talking about, here’s a less-terrifying image from the children’s movie, Finding Nemo: Still scary, just not as scary as the real thing.

I was going to display pictures of real fish folk that live in the ocean’s depths, but I could only look through the pictures so long before it got too freaky. Still, these things really do exist; it’s just too deep, dark, and pressurized for any human to get all the way to the bottom.

Because of this, Rupee is convinced that these fish are actually aliens, and that real aliens do not come from outer space, but from the black whole in which these strange creatures roam far below sea level. Last night at 3 a.m. (or was it this morning?) she explained to me her theory that dinosaurs did not, in fact, go extinct via a massive comet, but grew gills and submerged themselves into the abyss that is the ocean. If you ask me, this early-morning theory is quite plausible.

After all, scientists have never actually been to the bottom of the ocean. I saw a documentary about that! And we all know that everything in documentaries is true (duh!)

Still, there’s no way to prove the dinosaur thing¬†didn’t happen, is there? She then proceeded to tell me about the pyramid that is supposedly lining the ocean floor in the center of the Bermuda Triangle.

Um, how about no… WHY IS THERE A PYRAMID THERE?

I QUIT!

I then got to pondering about whether or not this theory could explain the presence of the Loch Ness Monster (who I’m still determined to discover, by the way), and how she got into the loch in the first place. If there’s an underwater tunnel that stretches from the loch to the ocean, then we can assume she was one of those dinosaurs who developed gills, and has been around for… thousands of years. You know, realism. It’s my middle name.

Maybe I should pitch it to the Discovery Channel, and then when they find out that it’s true, I can get all the credit for it! (Oh, and Rupee too.) That would certainly be easier (and much cheaper) than flying to Scotland and trying to find it out for myself.

But how much can you really credit a conversation held at three o’clock in the morning on a Sunday night?

What do you think? Are the dinosaurs really extinct, or are they just living in the depths of the deep blue sea?

This is why I always stick really close to the shore. But if Sharknado taught me anything, it’s that no where is safe from sharks or random teenagers who create explosives with a suspiciously high skill level!!! Danger is everywhere.

Mel

 

 

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