The Wild-Wild West (of Michigan) is Surprisingly Wild

Long time no speak!

I just got back from a trip to a friend’s college campus–Central Michigan, which is located in, can you guess it? The center(ish) of Michigan. Oh snap–and I thought I would let you in on some of my more, um, interesting experiences. Of course, there’s always something interesting happening at a university campus, but I think at least one of my stories enters into the more creep-tastic activities that can happen anywhere: a near-house robbery (and that’s the lesser of the creepy things we were thinking it might have been that night), but for now let me rewind and start from the (near) beginning.

Driving to Central, we passed a cop who was determined to pull someone over. We’ve all experienced one of these people before, you know, the ones who either want to pull someone over just because they can, or to fill a quota, not because you’re actually doing something notably wrong. For the area in Michigan I’m from, five miles per hour over the listed speed limit is the unspoken average. EVERYONE drives at least five over the speed limit, even the cops, and though it is technically illegal, it’s one of those “we don’t speak about it, and nothing happens” cases. Because, I literally kid you not, EVERYONE does it.

It’s funny, because the easiest way to spot a driver that isn’t from my area of Michigan (or Michigan period) is the fact that they’ll drive the speed limit and piss everyone off. I’m not kidding you, everyone gets mad. You’ll be shouting at them, then glance at the car next to you, and the driver looks like this:

So, of course, we slowed down immediately because being pulled over isn’t exactly on my bucket-list of things to do, and the cop passed us going at least 80 miles per hour and began to tail the truck in front of us who couldn’t have been going more than 75 miles per hour in a 70 mph zone. After about seven minutes of this, just as the truck pulled up far enough for the cop to pull into the lane behind him, the cop turned on his lights and pulled him over. And this is only 5 miles over the speed limit (*takes deep breath of irritation*) WHY?! It was totally obvious that this guy was itching to pull someone over, and this isn’t me trying to talk trash about cops, yes 5 miles over the speed limit is still illegal, but it was perfectly clear that this guy just wanted to pull someone over.

We’re just glad it wasn’t us. Does that make me a bad person?

Anyway, onto the really creepy story. Thursday night, we were hanging out in my friend’s apartment when (at 1 in the morning) there came a knock at the door. Due to numerous circumstances (and because it was a college town) we all just assumed it was probably some drunk friend or another who needed a ride somewhere/wanted to hang out. It wasn’t. We opened the door to find an average-looking, college-aged dude on the porch, and his first question to us was “what are your names?” I know, creepy right of the bat.

He then asked us if we wanted to hear a sad story (which it wasn’t) and that it would only take 20 seconds, we didn’t even need to let him in (which we weren’t going to!) He proceeded to tell us that his friend/roommate’s girlfriend was psychotic and trying to kill him (she was texting him death threats–he even held up his phone as if that was some kind of proof). He told us he had been running through the back fields of the apartments looking for places with their lights on, and that’s why he stopped to ask us for help. At this time, he began to look into the apartment, noticing those of us (there were four of us total) who were sitting on the couch, and asking questions about different things within the apartment. So, basically, he scoped the place out. 

We, of course, responded with “what?”, blank stares, and the basic “have you called the cops” questions, because if someone’s threatening to kill you, YOU CALL THE POLICE!

At the first mention of cops, he took off running, and we locked the door and called the non-emergency police number. They sent out troopers to check the place out. And when we woke up in the morning, there were footprints outside of the apartment gathered in a circle, so he had been scoping out the place-standing far enough back to look into the windows of a second-story kitchen-for a decent amount of time.

Ugh, mega-creepy. Suffice it to say that the four of us all slept in the same room that night! It was one of those situations where you’re super glad you were in a group of people and NOT alone. And kudos to those college-town cops who reacted that fast! So yeah, other than that our stay was pretty basic and fun, no other scary crap went down. Hurray!

Alas, this is the end of my spring break. How sad. I guess I’ll see you on the flip side (which means school. Aww 😦 )



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