Pretty, Pretty Dr. Smith…and the Not So Pretty Ones

I went to the doctor yesterday to make sure all of my vaccinations were up-to-date before I go overseas this summer. On average, my annual trip to the doctor goes something like this:

Put aside three hours.

The first hour will be spent waiting to get into an actual room (versus just the waiting room). Oops, you got here early to make sure you are not late for your appointment? Sorry, we’re running a little behind… one hour later: ah Miss _____, please follow me.

The nurse makes minimal small talk, takes your blood pressure. “Everything good? Anything in specific you need to talk to the doctor about?”

“Nope.”

“Okay, wait here, the doctor is nearly done with his/her other patient.”

*Stares off into the distance, wishing I had thought to bring something to entertain myself. In the room there are only posters about diabetes, shingles, and…proper foot care?

One hour later the doctor walks in.  “How’s it going?”

“Fine.”

Takes fifteen minutes to go over basic stuff: how are your migraines?

Fine.

Anything you need to talk about?

Nope.

It looks like you need to get your Tetanus vaccine.

Me: …

…okay…

Doctor: the nurse will be back in to give it to you. After that, you’re all set to go.

Me: Okay. *inwardly having a meltdown because needles freak me out*

Thirty minutes later the nurse walks in. The shot takes about 2.2 seconds.

Nurse: Your arm will probably hurt later.

Me: Oh, um, okay. I have to go to work though.

Nurse: That’s fine, just make sure to move it if it starts to feel stiff or it will hurt really badly later on. *Conveniently forgets to mention there may be flu-like symptoms due to a possible adverse reaction to the vaccine*

2 hours later–me at my job:

I’M MELTING! Oh my gosh, why is it so hot in here? I’m freaking dying, what’s the matter with me?

*Customer passes by and notices me*

Me: Are you hot? It’s hot in here, right? Holy crap I’M DYING!!!

This morning:

Dad: You alright?

Me: No, I’m not feeling real good.

Dad: Oh yeah, Tetanus shots can do that to you. Didn’t your doctor tell you that?

Me:

3 hours and this is what I get? Excuse you!

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