Why is it SO HARD to Find a Prince?

Rumor has it that all princesses disappear throughout the Disney parks at the setting of the sun. Almost like Cinderella at midnight, but even more dramatic. Disney does love drama. But what about the princes? No one ever tells you how hard it is to find a freaking PRINCE AT DISNEY WORLD!

Now, you might be thinking… aren’t you a little old to be hunting down princes in a Disney theme park? And to you I say:

#1: You can never be too old! (Which is totally a lie, because we all know those actors are fairly young, so if you are going all Cougar Town on them when you’re fifty… calm down.)

and #2: We were actually searching (Me, Rupee, Lila, and Danny), for our friend who is currently in Orlando, Florida as the face character of Prince Eric. Oh snap.

Spoiler alert: we couldn’t find him. Hence this post.

I don’t know how up-to-date you all are on your Disney Parks info (which isn’t to say I am. I just went. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have known.) But Disney’s Magic Kingdom just added on a new section called Fantasyland, where you can now find Belle’s cottage and castle, Ariel’s grotto, the Seven Dwarfs’ Mine Ride, Gaston’s pub, and a bunch of other really-cute-super-detailed rides and attractions.

But do you know what you can’t find there? Princes.

Where are they? They exist, but are stowed away in the hidden tunnels that make up the underworld of Disney. It’s where they keep their doctors and emergency staff, where the multitudes of characters can move from one side of the park to the other, unseen. And where, I am convinced, they are stowing away the princes under lock and key.

Because I don’t think I saw a single one while we were there.

No, that’s a lie. There were two on the parade floats. Prince Charming and someone else… But it wasn’t as if we could get to them. There is enough security during the parades to scare off the most daring, underhanded guest.

It was a week before Christmas when we were there, so several nights a week, Magic Kingdom put on a special Christmas party event, where only certain guests (VIP’s) and those who purchased additional party tickets were allowed in the park after a certain time of night. Apparently, this is when the princes emerged. Among those in attendance were Prince Naveen from The Princess and the Frog, Kristoff from Frozen, and Flynn Rider from Tangled. But they only ever appeared after dark. Or so we were told.

So the princesses are only out during the daytime, and the princes are only out at night. Hmm… I find this strange. My writer’s brain wants to believe that there is some kind of magical rule of thumb: just like the carriage turns back into a pumpkin at midnight, do the princesses turn into princes? Ooh… interesting.

I am now determined to sleuth out this answer. I could try to go about it the normal person route–and by that, I mean apply for a job at Disney to get the 411 on how all of this stuff works–but that would be giving in to the man! NO, I will do this the hard (and yet vastly more interesting) way. I will:

#1: Sneak into Magic Kingdom via hidden, underground tunnels under the guise of a well-known princess. (Can they really keep track of all their employees 24/7? I think not!)

#2: I will use my prime disguise (that no one will question) to hunt down one of these so-called “princes.”

#3: I will, via smartphone, take a photo of one of these mythical creatures. Preferably, with his matching princess, to prove that these beings to exist on their own. Or a picture of said prince on his own to produce reasonable doubt as to the separation of prince and princess.

OR

#3 Again: If the discovery of said prince/princess is unattainable, I will find the secret lair in underground Disney where they are stowing away these princes and princesses, and take photographic evidence for the good of the public. Because, you know, it’s very important that we keep the physical representatives of our favorite fictional characters protected at all times.

So, this is my plan.

Of course, this goes on my bucket list right next to:

– Discover the Loch Ness Monster

– Drive a Lamborghini

– Be a hand model

– Be the voice of a Disney Princess

– Marry rich (*susceptible to change based on circumstances*)

– Take over the world

I think it’s a pretty reasonable (albeit unfinished) list of ideals, don’t you?

~~~~~

Yay for posting on time this week! Woo hoo! I think Sundays are going to work out much better than Mondays, so be sure to be on the lookout for the last post in the Theme Park series coming at you next Sunday!

We may talk before then, but who knows? I just write wherever the laptop takes me. Which is usually to Netflix. Oops.

Mel

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