Michigan. It's really REALLY close to the arctic. Kind of. Maybe. Point is, the southern portion of Michigan (metro Detroit included) has officially--as of this year--had more snow than we've had EVER BEFORE. This record hasn't been broken in one hundred and thirty years. Yes, 130 years. Worst. Winter. Ever. I'm just thankful that it … Continue reading The Repercussions of Living in the Arctic
The Things That Don’t Make Sense
The Pondersome Things About Life
This is not a good time of the year to be an English major. Everyone decides to give their longest, hardest, boringest (sorry, I just felt I had to continue the pattern) papers now, because they...I don't know...What, Professor? Did you forget to give me all of these papers earlier in the semester? It not … Continue reading The Pondersome Things About Life
I Have A Dog: And Other Ways to Make A Statement
Within my average group of friends, tensions rise when people are: 1) Hungry. 2) Tired. 3) Bored. And worst of all, 4) All of the above. So when we travel to far distances across the country—or 30 miles down the street to a choir competition—things can get a little tough. Don’t be mistaken, choir kids … Continue reading I Have A Dog: And Other Ways to Make A Statement
“What Do You Mean You Can’t Take Your Pants Off?!”
During the days of “That’s what she said!”, brought to us by my personal favorite comedy actor—Steve Carell—there were many inappropriate jokes made; some good, some bad, and some blatantly stupid. And while many of these jokes were intentional, some of the best were not. This was one of those jokes. Cruise ships are like … Continue reading “What Do You Mean You Can’t Take Your Pants Off?!”
If You’re Happy and You Know It…Please Don’t Clap Your Hands!
The scariest thing that has ever happened to me—okay, maybe not the scariest—it’s more like the fifth scariest. (The first scariest is when I almost fell of a boat into rough waters off the cost of Guatemala where there are things in the water that want to eat you!) Okay, so the fifth scariest thing … Continue reading If You’re Happy and You Know It…Please Don’t Clap Your Hands!
A Black Bear Is Going to Attack Me In My Sleep
So, I'm afraid I have some bad news. I am going to be going on a small hiatus for a little while. You see, I am about to travel into the deep Kentucky regions where there are no internet connections and the nearest usable phone is nowhere. Don't miss me too much--though I know you'll … Continue reading A Black Bear Is Going to Attack Me In My Sleep
The Missing Dime
When looking to borrow money from other people at school, it has always been my philosophy to try one of a couple techniques. I have come across these skills with my own friends in the dire, life and death struggle for the beloved French fries our school sells at lunchtime. Everyone’s daily search to obtain … Continue reading The Missing Dime
I Think I’m Psychic
The laws of middle school state that there is a chance—miniscule for most—that a single story, a single trait, can be the defining factor between popular and dweeb. If you get it right, you will rocket into middle school sainthood. If you don’t…well…you don’t. This is one of those don’t stories. Chicago is a lovely … Continue reading I Think I’m Psychic
Just Another Average Post
Tomorrow is Sunday and ordinarily that would be the day where I announce the new theme for the upcoming week. However, I shall be travelling tomorrow to the far, unknown regions of Kentucky. Ooh, aah. Yes, it's very exciting. Try to contain your enthusiasm. Anyhow, I thought I would go ahead and announce the theme … Continue reading Just Another Average Post
Ultimately Useless Stories 